Friday, September 28, 2007

Creating Intimacy in Your Relationships

By Tim Connor How do you know whether you have true intimacy with your partner? Let me first give you my definition of intimacy. Most people tend to connect intimacy only with sex. Intimacy is when two people create an environment where there is a true heart to heart connection. Their Souls seem to almost merge into one being. They feel a sense of peace, harmony, balance and unconditional love for their partner and when they are in their partners presence. There is no battle of egos, no need to win, manipulate or control. There is an inner awareness that all is well with the world. That I am where I am supposed to be and I am now with the person I am destined to spend my life with. Intimacy is not just a feeling, nor is it just knowing. It is a divine connection with another person. It is a spiritual connectedness. Intimate relationships can be between a man and a woman. Two people of the same sex. Two friends. Siblings. It can also be present in a relationship of a large group. On several occasions during my long speaking career I have had the pleasure of having a truly intimate relationship with my audience as a whole. We connected and flowed. It wasnt about me, my material or them. It was about something bigger than all of us. When many people think of intimacy, they tend to think only of sexual intimacy. Although sex between two people who have achieved a high level of intimacy can be a wonderful experience. I am not referring to sex as a form of intimacy. Lets take a brief look at a few of the issues that prevent true intimacy in a relationship this will help you determine where you can take corrective actions or develop new behaviors so you can experience a greater sense of intimacy in your relationships. 1. A lack of trust, respect or acceptance of the other person. 2. The fear of rejection. 3. A fear of letting yourself be who you really are. 4. A lack of self-love and or self-acceptance. 5. Letting your ego control your feelings, emotions and or attitudes. 6. An un-safe relationship. 7. Old emotional baggage on either persons part. 8. A lack of self-trust. 9. Needing to protect yourself from invalidation by the other person. 10. Suppressed emotions like anger, frustration, blame or guilt. 11. When one or both people are under a great deal of stress. 12. When there is an emotional disconnect between one or both partners. Intimacy is generally one of the first things to leave a relationship that is in trouble. It is close on the heels of trust, respect and acceptance. Can intimacy be re-kindled once it has been lost or is leaving a relationship? I am sure that there are many people who have been able to regain this valuable state in a once troubled relationship. However, generally speaking once a person goes over the edge or the line between intimacy and no intimacy generally I believe that it is next to impossible to re-capture these feelings and emotions. Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tim_Connor http://EzineArticles.com/?Creating-Intimacy-in-Your-Relationships&id=280726 discount levitra online buy levitra vardenafil online pharmacy buy cheap levitra
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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Rating the Fad Diets

By Brian Johnston THE 200 POINT SYSTEM With so many different diets available, how are we to know what works and what is safe? The only way to be sure is to discover the author’s background and the research behind the diet’s methodology. Every good diet should give a background about the author and his/her credentials and experience in the fields of nutrition and biochemistry. However, even a vast resume does not mean a credible and safe diet. But it does suggest, at least, that the author has some knowledge of nutrition. Providing research behind the diet proves that the diet is not something the author invented, so long as the research is not self-serving and altered to fit a hypothesis. Some diets may not need a great deal of tests and studies behind them, simply because they are based on fundamentals. For example, many women’s magazines have articles on dieting and weight loss, but they are common sense suggestions that most people concerned about weight should know already: “Eat smaller meals”, “cut down on sugar and fat”, etc., are typical philosophies. More structured diets should give some scientific reasons for its suggested success, preferably case studies and research performed on everyday test subjects, as well as athletes. Since we have established the importance of eating a balanced diet in accordance to selecting healthy foods and obtaining RDA minimums, it is possible now to rate the diets in accordance to those specific criteria. Begin with a score of 200 and subtract 10 points from the total for each statement below in which the diet concedes. An ideal diet should maintain a score of 200, but a score of 160 or greater is acceptable. 1. The diet does not include the food groups in adequate amounts. Some fad diets eliminate one or more of the food groups. Do not deduct 10 points if a food groups nutrients (e.g., carbs, proteins, fats, fiber, vitamins, and minerals) are adequately substituted with that of another food group. 2. The diet does not provide at least 45% of its calories from carbohydrate sources. In order to prevent ketosis, at least 150g of glucose/day is required. Thats 33-50% of total calorie intake on a 1200-calorie diet. Keep in mind that is the minimum. For highly active individuals, that amount should increase to 60% at times, i.e., immediately after exercise. 3. The carbohydrate content exceeds 20% concentrated sugars. At least 80% of carbohydrate sources should be complex, and preferably in the form of vegetables, seeds, and legumes. 4. The protein content exceeds 30%. A very high protein intake is unnecessary, it places additional strain on the urinary system, and it is a poor source of energy. Thirty percent is more than adequate, even for growing children and teenagers. The only group that requires higher protein intake are those who recently suffered a severe injury (e.g., leg amputation), infection, or surgery. However, these individuals will be under the care of a physician with a special high protein diet. 5. Protein content accounts for 15% or less of total calories. Although unnecessary in large amounts, protein still has many vital functions, including tissue repair and the formation of enzymes. 6. Fats exceed 30% of total intake. Besides increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease, high fat diets have not been demonstrated to decrease weight better than other methods of proper eating. 7. Total fat consumption is less than 15% of total calories. Fat in moderate amounts is essential for a healthy diet, and such a diet provides taste to many foods. Fat intake below 15% for long periods, for most individuals, is unrealistic. Fat intake that is too low can also be detrimental to children and teenagers who require ample kcalories for continued growth. 8. Total fat consumption is less than 25% essential fatty acids, and saturated fat is more than 30% of total fat consumption. Deduct 10 for each. 9. The diet does not suggest common foods, meaning foods you should be able to obtain at any grocery store or market. 10. The foods for the diet are expensive or monotonous. Some diets require the purchase of their foods or expensive organic foods only obtained through health food stores. Some foods taste so bad they are difficult to tolerate repeatedly (e.g., seaweed). Deduct 10 for each. 11. The diet consists of an inflexible meal plan. The diet does not allow for substitutions or deviations, requiring a person to live under house arrest with the same food selections every day. 12. The diet provides less than 1200 kcalories per day. Less than that and the body’s basic functions may not be getting the energy, vitamins and minerals needed to work properly, and the dieter almost is certain to feel hungry all the time. Diets below 1200 kcalories should be reserved for those under the supervision of a dietitian or licensed physician. 13. The diet requires the use of supplements. If the diet provides adequate energy and it is well balanced, supplements are unnecessary. Fat accelerators, such as ephedrine, may increase the rate of weight loss, but the diet should be able to stand on its own merit. Some diet clinics promote a vast array of herbal preparations and fat accelerators, and this is where these clinics make their money not in their knowledge and ability as nutritionists. 14. The diet does not recommend a realistic weight goal. Diets should not be promoting the body of a Greek god or a supermodel. They should not be suggesting that a person lose 100 pounds (even if 100 pounds overweight). Nor should diets recommend weight loss below an ideal weight. 15. The diet recommends or promotes more than 1-2 lbs/week weight loss. Do not expect to lose more than 1-2 pounds of fat a week it is physically impossible unless chronically obese, at which point 3 pounds may be possible. If more than two pounds is lost per week, the body change is due to a loss of water and/or muscle tissue. Gimmicks that promise 10 pounds in 2 weeks are either simply not true or else something other than fat is being lost. Also keep in mind that the more fat a person wishes to lose, and the less a person has, the more difficult and slower it will be to lose additional fat. 16. The diet does not include an evaluation of food habits. Dieting should be a slow process by which a person changes normal eating habits. It should not include looking for quick fixes and quick plans promising short cuts and extreme changes a person would never stay with these programs and such diets do not work long-term. The number of kcalories eaten, and the food selections and their amounts, should be reevaluated on a regular basis perhaps once every 1-2 months to determine the programs effectiveness. 17. Regular exercise is not recommended as part of the plan for proper weight loss. Weight loss occurs twice as fast with exercise, and without exercise there is a greater tendency to lose lean muscle tissue as well as fat. This is not ideal. OVERVIEW OF VARIOUS DIETS Low Carbohydrate Diets: Ketosis occurs, and this presents the same problems as fasting. Once glycogen stores are spent (which happens quickly with athletes and those who exercise regularly), glucose must be made from protein sources, and there is greater wear on the kidneys as a result. Even on a high protein diet, some protein will be taken from body tissues in order to produce enough energy for the nervous system and regular activity. The onset of ketosis is an indication that this process has begun and it is not a positive aspect, regardless of what pro-high-fat authorities indicate. Great weight loss on a low-carb diet is evident because of the fact that carbs hold water in the muscles at a ratio of 1:3. As carb intake decreases then so, too, does water retention. Much water flushes as a result of lack of glycogen to hold water molecules. Moreover, by increasing protein intake, excess nitrogen flushes with even more water since the kidneys use water to dilute the concentration of nitrogen. Once leaving a low-carb diet and the muscles refill with glycogen, fluid concentrations increase and the dieter regains some of the weight. Low calorie diets of 400-600 kcalories that consist primarily of protein have the same problems as fasting and low-carbohydrate diets: proteins are used for energy and weight loss comes largely from water. Low-cal diets must be supervised properly by a medical professional and only as a last resort for those who cannot seem to lose weight by other methods. However, even those individuals tend to regain most of their weight back once they return to a balanced diet. Beverly Hills Diet a diet consisting of grapefruit, eggs, rice, and kelp; it is deficient in minerals and vitamins. Cambridge Diet a very low kcalorie (300-600 kcal/day); protein/carb mixture with mineral imbalances; the dieter is close to fasting. Complete Scarsdale Diet this diet is unbalanced nutritionally; some days are calorically restricted; the dieter alters portions of carbohydrate, protein, and fat; the diet consists of low carbs (20-50 g/day), and high fat and protein; the diet has a high meat (saturated fat and cholesterol) content. Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution this diet is unbalanced nutritionally; some days are calorically restricted; the dieter alters portions of carbohydrate, protein, and fat; carbs are very low (20-50 g/day), whereas fat and protein are high; there is high meat (saturated fat and cholesterol) consumption. Dr. Linns Last Chance Diet this diet has a very low kcalorie intake (300-600 kcal/day); it consists of a protein/carb mixture with a mineral imbalance; the dieter is close to fasting. Dr. Reubens The Save Your Life Diet this is a calorically dilute diet consisting of high fiber (30-35g/day); the diet is low in fat and animal products; there is poor absorption of minerals because of too much high fiber. “Fake” Mayo Diet this diet consists of grapefruits, eggs, rice, and kelp; it is deficient in minerals and vitamins. F-Plan Diet this is a calorically dilute diet consisting of high fiber (30-35g/day); it is low in fat and animal products; there is poor absorption of minerals because of too much fiber. LA Costa Spa Diet this diet promotes weight loss of 1-1_ lbs/day; there are various plans of 800, 1000, and 1200 kcal/day composed of 25% protein, 30% fat (mostly polyunsaturates), and 45% carbohydrate; the diets includes the four food groups. Medifast Diet this diet is balanced nutritionally, but provides only 900 kcal/day; use of liquid formulas makes this diet monotonous and expensive. Nutrimed Diet/Medifast Diet this is a nutritionally balanced diet, but it supplies only 900 kcal/day; the use of liquid formulas makes this diet monotonous and expensive. Optifast Diet this diet is nutritionally balanced, but supplies only 900 kcal/day; use of liquid formulas makes this diet monotonous and expensive. Pritikin Permanent Weight-Loss Diet this is a nutritionally unbalanced diet; some days are calorically restricted; the dieter alters portions of carbohydrate, protein, and fat; the diet consists of high protein (100 g/day); unless the foods properly chosen, it may be low in vitamin B12. Prudent Diet this is a balanced, low kcalorie (2400 kcal/day) diet for men; it is low in cholesterol and saturated fats; a maximum of 20-35% calories are derived from fat with an emphasis on protein, carbohydrates, and salt; there is ample consumption of fish and shellfish, and saturated fats are substituted with polyunsaturated fats. Quick Weight Loss Diet this diet is unbalanced nutritionally; some days are calorically restricted; the dieter alters portions of carbohydrate, protein, and fat, although there is low carbs (20-50 g/day), and high fat and protein; there is high meat consumption (saturated fat and cholesterol) with this diet. San Francisco Diet this diet begins at 500 kcal/day, consisting of two meals per day of one fruit, one vegetable, one slice of bread, and two meat exchanges; the second week limits carbohydrates, with most food coming from the meat group and with some eggs and cheese, and a few vegetables; week three includes fruit; in week four there is an increase in vegetables; week five the dieter add fat-containing foods (e.g., nuts, avocados); week six includes milk; week seven includes pastas and bread, where the diet is maintained at about 1300 kcal/day; this diet avoids the issue of saturated fats and cholesterol. Slendernow Diet this diet is unbalanced nutritionally; some days are calorically restricted; the dieter alters portions of carbohydrate, protein, and fat; the protein is generally high (100 g/day); unless foods are properly chosen, there may be a deficiency in vitamin B12. Weight-Watchers Diet this diet is balanced nutritionally, at about 1000-1200 kcal; use of high nutrient-dense foods are consumed; economic and palatable food makes it one of the most successful diets with no real health risks. Wine Diet this diet is about 1200 kcal/day, containing 28 menus together with a glass of dry table wine at dinner; besides the medicinal components of wine, it is believed that individuals reduce portion sizes when wine is consumed with a meal; the diet is low in cholesterol and saturated fats; there is a focus on fish, poultry, and veal with moderate amounts of red meat. Yogurt Diet this diet consists of two versions, being 900-1000 kcal/day, and 1200-1500 kcal/day; plain low-fat yogurt is the main dairy dish, consumed at breakfast, lunch, and as a bedtime snack; the diet is high in protein, and it is low in cholesterol, saturated fat, and refined carbohydrates. Diets that do not provide 100% of the U.S. RDA for 13 vitamins and minerals: Atkins Beverly Hills Carbohydrate Cravers Basic Carbohydrate Cravers Dense California (1200 kcal) California (2000 kcal) F-Plan I Love America I Love New York Pritikin (700 kcal) Pritikin (1200 kcal) Richard Simmons Scarsdale Stillman Brian D. Johnston is the Director of Education and President of the I.A.R.T. fitness certification institute. He has written over 12 books and is a contributor author to the Merck Medical Manual. An international lecturer, Mr. Johnston wears many hats in the fitness and health industries. You can visit his site at http://www.ExerciseCertification.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Johnston http://EzineArticles.com/?Rating-the-Fad-Diets&id=34411 cheap fioricet buy cheap fioricet online cheap fioricet online generic fioricet
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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Atlanta Accident Lawyers

By Alison Cole When choosing a lawyer to fight your accident case, keep in mind that it is absolutely essential for you to choose an extremely competent person for the job. You only get one chance to fight your compensation case. Imagine losing the case, not because you are in the wrong, but because the lawyer you chose did not have the necessary expertise to fight your case. The lawyer or the firm might have a proven track record in real estate or bankruptcy cases, but that experience probably will not win your accident compensation case. It is extremely important to check the credentials and reputation of the lawyer you choose. Another thing to keep in mind is the lawyer must be ready to take your case to the court. This is because most lawyers would prefer an out of court settlement and in this case, you will not get your fair due. You also must be sure that the lawyer you choose actually fights your case for you. In many caes, you meet a lawyer to discuss your case, but when the real work begins, the assistants or the paralegals take over. You don’t want that. Don’t get carried away with the flashy campaigns that some lawyers use for advertising. Before settling for a lawyer, try to find out their success rate and whether he or she is personally willing to fight your case for you. This is extremely important because ultimately, it is the insurance companies that are going to pay. If they know that your lawyer is not going to compromise, they wont use any sort of pressure tactics. Atlanta accident lawyers can be found through a referral service provided by Georgia State Bar Association, the county bar association and other professional law associations. Information is also available in the yellow pages or through search engines like Google and Yahoo on the Internet. You can check advertisements of law firms in magazines and newspapers. Friends and family members are also excellent sources of information. Atlanta Lawyers provides detailed information about Atlanta lawyers, Atlanta bankruptcy lawyers, Atlanta business lawyers, and more. Atlanta Lawyers is affiliated with Legal Malpractice. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alison_Cole http://EzineArticles.com/?Atlanta-Accident-Lawyers&id=127165 buy cheap xenical buy orlistat xenical sale xenical generic xenical
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Free Cell Phone Ringtones

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Thomas_Morva]Thomas Morva The world has become more of a global community than ever before, thanks to the boom of instant communication techniques and tools. And of course, a bigger thanks to the revolutionary invention of the cell phone. The introduction of cell phone has brought forth many other ancillary industries. Moreover, it has given music a new dimension by providing the service of a free cell phone ringtones. Ringtones are the sounds and tunes that alert us about the incoming call. These few seconds of music could be a way that portrays your personality to the people around you. It could be one way of telling people what you are or a way that speaks about your taste in music. Free cell phone ringtones are the most happening things that an individual needs to have on his/her cell phone. One of the reasons that people like ringtones so much is they can be acquired for free. The free cell phone ringtones could be of various types, and they have different themes from which you can choose. There are rap ringtones, rock ringtones, Christian and gospel ringtones, and even simple voice ringtones that tell jokes. For those who are of a carefree and of a lively personality, there are funny ringtones that are available free of cost. Wherein, for those who love children, there are recorded free cell phone ringtones that have voices of chuckling babies to their collection. The free cell phone ringtones could be downloaded from the Internet, from cell phone service providers or they could simply be something you created yourself. You can also have cool MP3 free cell phone ringtones if you have a Hi-Fi cell phone. So, if you are waiting for that one cool tune that always thought of having on your cell phone. Then you need to check whether it is on the list of the free cell phone ringtones so that you could be its proud owner. FreeRingtonesNow.net is a website that offers visitors the ability to find [http://www.freeringtonesnow.net/]free ringtones and specific information on [http://www.freeringtonesnow.net/FreeCellPhoneRingtones.htm]free cell phone ringtones. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Thomas_Morva http://EzineArticles.com/?Free-Cell-Phone-Ringtones&id=271329 sex anal girls porno ice cream dumped in pussy vip call girls escorts us escort leisure sex travel fetish black anal video
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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Guide To Wokers Compensation

By T Potter Workers compensation is a lifesaver when and if something ever happens to you while you are on the job, and it is only available for your use if you have gotten hurt. Workers’ compensation laws provide money and medical benefits to an employee who has an injury as a result of an accident, injury or occupational disease on-the-job. All employers are required by law to carry this type of insurance because it prevents being sued by the one hurt. Workers have the right to be protected as they work and certainly in the case of an accident. Workers’ compensation is designed to protect workers and their dependents against the hardships from injury or death arising out of the work environment. In this way it actually benefits both the employee and employer. With the rising costs in the medical profession, any accident could potentially result in financial difficulties for the employer if they dont carry this insurance. Some cases would surely bankrupt some small business owners. The employer also benefits because the employee agrees not to sue or press charges. The question of fault is not discussed, as the injured one is being cared for medically and financially. When an incident occurs, the necessary information is recorded and the injured one proceeds to file for the workers compensation. After all the information has been evaluated, workers comp determines availability. When accepted, all medical bills are paid and the employee receives money (usually on a weekly or biweekly basis) and medical benefits in place of any right the injured might have to sue the employer. If an employer fails to obtain workers compensation, the employee is free to file in the civil court system or to file a claim against the states workers compensation system. Employers who try to avoid getting this insurance can lose their personal assets and other business assets as well. Wise employers encourage safety programs to reduce on-the-job accidents. By doing this they can also lower their premiums because the payments are based on the number of accidents. Employers who motivate and educate their employees in safe work habits and environments, will not only prevent accidents but will also keep their employees happier in the long run. This article was written by T. Potter. You can visit Guide To Workers Compensation for further information and compensation resources. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=T_Potter http://EzineArticles.com/?Guide-To-Wokers-Compensation&id=147686
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Why Falling in Love is Not So Easy!

By Elaine Sihera What are the ingredients that make the ultimate romantic experience possible? What are some folks missing which prevent them from actually reaching that highly-desired goal at any time in their lives? Well, it could be four crucial things, actually: 1. Self-Love 2. Expressiveness 3. Emotional Openness 4. Faith in the Future Self-Love The most important factor when we are hoping to fall in love is self-love. If we need someone to ‘complete’ our life instead of to enhance it, someone to ‘make’ us happy, instead of sharing our happiness or someone to make us feel good instead of sharing our joy, we have a problem with self-love. In fact, a lack of self-love is the biggest cause of personal problems in our life because too many people readily carry that burden. They do not like themself and dislike certain key aspects of their bodies, but then, paradoxically, expect others to like what they reject!! That is not possible. We can only truly love when we ourselves have love because the greatest love is not waiting outside to find us. It actually lies dormant inside of us, yearning to be discovered and nurtured. Everything else is just the icing on the cake, but YOU are that cake! And a delicious one too. When that fact is fully realised, acknowledged and accepted, you are well on the road to giving love and loving another unconditionally. Above all, you will find it really easy to fall in love with all the fanfare and starlight you dream of. But loving the self is not so easy to do when we have had little reinforcement of our worth since childhood, or we get little affirmation from work, home or loved ones, and if we are always taken for granted or ignored. We then tend to feel unwanted, unappreciated and invisible. If we have also been hurt a number of times, it reinforces all those unsavoury experiences. Difficult to love that little self when no one else seems to love it! But self-love is the most important thing we have to work for in our lives, especially if we wish to get rid of unnecessary anxieties, to grow with confidence in who we are, to lead independent lives without clinging to another and to feel worthy of the life we have. Self-love comes from two things, above all: knowing who you are and knowing what you want, and making sure they stand out clearly to everyone you meet. Those who are seeking what you have to give will be joyful while making you even happier. It also means that you will only attract people who love those traits about you. The others will stay away, which dramatically cuts down the time-wasting in trying to select suitable partners. It makes the chance of you falling in love much higher and you won’t ever have to apologise for who you are and wish to be. Moreover, if you do not know what you want in your life, you won’t be able to recognise it when you see it. You have to be sure of it to know it! So, the first lesson in both confidence and setting the scene for falling in love is to BE who you are, LOVE who you are and don’t worry about who might not respond positively because those who like what they see will flock to you. Moreover, when we merely try to please others, we give mixed messages, we go against what we value and end up pleasing no one, least of all ourselves! Expressiveness Many of us find it difficult to be expressive, to communicate easily, to say how we really feel, to express what might be hurting us or to give life to those cherished dreams. But being expressive is a key part of falling in love. Through communication, your partner knows what you desire, what makes you happy, what you are enjoying about the contact, how you are feeling and what you really like about them too. It cannot be taken for granted or merely implied. Falling in love means you want to shout your feelings from the roof tops and do just that! A lack of expressiveness comes through low confidence and a desire to please - mainly for approval. We tend to feel we do not merit being heard or that what we have to say is not that important enough for others so we keep it repressed while we miss opportunities for enjoyable activities. If we have been hurt, expression then becomes a form of repressed anger and resentment instead of love. This attitude also tends to carry over into our loving. We become mean with praise and appreciation, and seldom affirm our partners, yet yearn for that reinforcement ourselves, even feeling peeved when we don’t get it. For example, how often, as women, do we want to hear that we look great when we are dressed or on a date, yet how regularly do we reciprocate in kind? We are likely to believe that any praise of our partners is not deserved. And why not? Is a relationship for punishment and negativity? Most people who lack confidence depend on others to validate them, to affirm that they are worthy. They are unlikely to believe it themselves, so they deny expression and key communication in order to either avoid ’saying the wrong thing’, or ‘upsetting anyone’. They hope that by not saying anything they will win people over and make a better impression, but it often has the opposite effect of robbing that person of credibility and impact. In fact, not expressing our honest thoughts merely confirms perceptions, gives the wrong impressions and creates misunderstandings. Emotional Openness Having passionate and wonderful love affairs in a heart-stopping way contains deep affection which comes through unconditional expressiveness and emotional openness. Yet, when we are hurt (which is a fact of life, nothing unusual!) we tend to retreat inwards, becoming wary of any future liaison. We lock down the emotional hatches while we grow cold and detached, more vulnerable, victim-like and introspective. We find excuses not to be involved or to fall for someone, yet that is the time to put the experience squarely behind you, learn to from it and move on as quickly as possible. Not to dwell on it in a powerless state of resentment. Otherwise, you will become more angry and develop a scapegoat mentality, one which denies everyone else you meet their individuality as you gradually blame them by proxy. If you feel vulnerable and powerless after any hurt, resist it. Vulnerability comes through fear - a fear of the future, the inability to accept the uniqueness of others and letting them prove themselves to us. And wherever there is undue fear there is enforced coldness, detachment and a lack of enjoyment. Yet, falling in love has warmth and love at its core. We cannot fall in love without emotions, and open ones too. We have to be prepared to GIVE unconditionally in order to feel those wonderful vibes. Anything else will be luke-warm. If we are grudging in our emotions, the communication will falter or be superficial, and we really won’t get what we seek. Any fear means we cannot be expressive, we are not able to trust, we cannot let go and we cannot enjoy because we are concentrating so much upon avoiding the possible hurt, we completely miss the pleasure that comes BEFORE any hurt, while turning our fears into self-fulfilling prophecies! In the end, you might not get hurt, as you jealously guard that vulnerability, but you will not have much pleasure either and remain fossilised in the same spot, going nowhere, doing nothing new while becoming increasingly unattractive in the process. Faith in the Future Faith in the future is crucial for new relationships. We have to resist controlling every movement in order to be surprised by what life might have in store for us. People who feel ‘vulnerable’, who feel powerless, who are always worrying about what they might ‘lose’ and how they might be viewed and treated, find it hard to be expressive, trusting and passionate because they have to control everything to feel good. They tend to resist the future, immediate and long-term, in case they are hurt again. Having little faith in their future, they tend to take more than they give, to be cynical of the motives of others. They are also likely to fear commitment and so will seldom experience the joy of falling in love through their inability to let go and live their life spontaneously. Being so busy trying to control its direction, they simply rob their life of its emotion, joy and spontaneity. The best way to approach any relationship is to be prepared for both pleasure and pain. The two are crucial sides of the same coin and you cannot have one without the other. People who fear pain live in an unrealistic world of feckless emptiness and fear, seeking only pleasure without the costs or consequences. But there is ALWAYS a price to pay in life for whatever we have, whether good or bad, that’s Nature’s way of establishing balance, and the more we accept that death is as much an integral part of life as rebirth, the more happiness we will find. There is always great enjoyment when you simply accept the moment AS IT IS, no matter how long it lasts. There is ALWAYS a better moment round the corner, believe me, so it is useless fretting over this one. For many women (and a lot of men too) it is insecurity and a lack of self-love which prevent them from really enjoying their lives, so they burden every new partner and date with their unrealistic anxieties and expectations in their search for perfection. They carry around their baggage of hurt expecting to be hurt again and, surprise, surprise, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Simply love yourself and be warm, kind and compassionate to the next person you meet. It really pays dividends. Express yourself freely and affirm others at every opportunity. Be open with your emotions and less controlling of yourself and others. That allows for some great surprises. Be easier on yourself by reducing your fears and welcoming love into your life. Falling in love will not only be easy, it will also be a real cinch because you would have already laid the crucial groundwork for attracting that ideal partner! ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah - http://www.myspace.com/elaineone) is a media contributor and columnist for Black Britain Online. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University, Elaine is a CONSULTANT for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Dynamic extrovert with a passion for living and people. An intelligent, confident expert who enjoys every aspect of life. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others. Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Achievement Awards. She describes herself as “Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!” QUOTE: “I do not wish to be any other age because my life at 25 was nowhere as exciting and enjoyable as my life at 50. One thing is certain: no genteel aging for me - I’ll be going there disgracefully and enjoying every minute!” Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elaine_Sihera http://EzineArticles.com/?Why-Falling-in-Love-is-Not-So-Easy!&id=421152 best online pharmacy canada online pharmacy buying medications online pain medications online
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners

By Royane Real In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes we are the one who hurt another person we care about; sometimes we are the one who has been hurt. Sometimes both people have become very angry at each other, or both feel hurt. Hurt feelings can be the result of a slip of the tongue, a misunderstanding, or a deed committed in bad judgment. Sometimes feelings are hurt deliberately in the heat of anger and regretted later. If we were the guilty party, we might regret what we said the instant we let the hurtful remark out of our mouths. We might want to apologize right away, but some of us find apologizing about anything extremely difficult, almost impossible. Sometimes the reason we dont apologize is because we are convinced that the other person totally deserved our angry outburst. Sometimes the reason we dont apologize is because we have absolutely no idea that we hurt the other person. And sometimes we apologize very profusely, but we dont really mean it. When you sincerely apologize to a friend, it means that you regret causing the other person emotional pain, and you want to work on repairing the friendship. If you have said or done something that hurt your friend or partner, it is important to acknowledge your loved ones painful emotions. You can say something like, Im so sorry you feel hurt because of what I said. I didnt mean to hurt you. Lets talk about what happened. In some relationships, hurt feelings and problems are never dealt with. Instead, they get swept under the rug. These relationships may look polite on the surface and they may even be long-lived, but they are not really very intimate. There is no deep sharing between the two people and there is no ability to be honest. If one, or both of you, are feeling very angry with the other, put off your in-depth discussion until both of you are to be calm and levelheaded. But apologize to your friend sincerely as soon as you can. Once an apology for a particular incident has been extended and accepted, dont go back and revisit old battles the next time you have a disagreement. Take care of each incident as it comes up and dont nurse old resentments. This article is taken from the new downloadable book by Royane Real titled “How You Can Have All the Friends You Want - Your Compete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends” Check it out today at http://www.royanereal.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Royane_Real http://EzineArticles.com/?Apologizing-When-We-Hurt-Our-Friends-or-Partners&id=22025
Posted by misha at 05:51:17 | Permalink | Comments Off

Saturday, September 15, 2007

How to Buy a Cheap Unlocked Cell Phone

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Steve_Arun]Steve Arun Cell phones have become a necessity, these days and you would be amazed to the number of mobile phone users, present in this world, today. Imaging life without a cell phone is not possible, today. Cell phones have reduced the distance between places and the fact that you can keep yourself connected with your friends, relatives and loved ones even when traveling has won many hearts. This is the basic feature of the cell phone that has mad this technologically advanced device, so famous, among millions of people across the globe. However, the cost of these cell phones has made many people deprived of this technology, in the past. However, these days, you can easily find cheap cell phone deals and most of these cell phones are genuine and equipped with modern features. Here are three best ways to purchase cheap cell phones: a) Internet: Shopping online is the best option for cheap cell phone deals. It is easy, convenient and saves your time and money you would find several websites that offer you cheap cell phone deals online. You would find a variety of cell phones on these websites and most of these websites are ready to offer you exciting discounts. All you have to do is, to type in the keyword, cheap cell phones and click on the enter button. You would instantly get hundreds of websites available in your search engine, related to cheap cell phones. Visit some of these sites in order to know what is latest in the cell phone industry and the discounts available for the consumers. Internet is the best option to find the best and cheapest cell phone deals. b) Used cell phones: This is another way to purchase cell phones at affordable rates. Used cell phones are sold at excitingly low rates and if you are vigilant about the quality of the cell phone when purchasing you can make the best deal around. However, you need to be extremely careful about the performance of the used cell phone and its authenticity when purchasing them. c) Carrier store: If you dont have an account at one of the cell phone carrier stores around, open one today. This would offer you the opportunity to purchase cell phone, at affordable rates. The above-mentioned ideas would help you make one of best cheap cell phone deals. Go online today and you would be happy to have made the decision. Steve Arun is an [http://www.va4business.com]Internet Marketing, Client Account Specialist for Cellhut.com, your one stop [http://www.cellhut.com] cell phone shop, provides with latest and comprehensive information on cellular phones and accessories in USA. Go now to Cellhut’s [http://www.cellhut.com]Hot cell phone deals listings to access their exciting and affordable Combo Deals. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Arun http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Buy-a-Cheap-Unlocked-Cell-Phone&id=371995
Posted by misha at 18:01:09 | Permalink | Comments Off